T-E-R-R-I-B-L-E

have you ever been in a love quad? if no, then you dont want to be in one. trust me. if you thought relationships were complex, you have no idea until youre in my situation. like seriously? wtf. anyways, my love life is not the reason of this post. today was terrible. i woke up an hour late and had to get ready in literally 5 minutes. it sucked. and to top it all off... it rained. wtf is up? its always raining! and rain makes me sad. really sad. lol i dont even want to do my homework. i think im just going to curl up in my bed an watch some movies. and then watch gossip girl at 7 cause i love chuck bass. hes the one guy that never disappoints me. hahaha. toally kidding. but yeah. hopefully gossip girl will cheer me up. oh! i forgot! okay, so i was planning on looking uber cute tomorrow but sadly, i have a chem lab so now i have to wear jeans and closed toe shoes. FML. no, fuck chemistry. im never gonna need it in life anyways. at least i know that in about an hour ill get a text from him and he'll make my day all better (: haha. look at me all sappy and shit. but whatever, i just cant help myself >.<

rain rain

GO AWAY! like seriously. for some reason i'm always in a bad mood when it rains. it's just depressing to me. i do not find it soothing at all. not one bit. and on top of that school is not helping the depressing factor at all. just 7 more weeks...

talk about routine

CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: playradioplay!

My days always start off the same. I roll out of bed at 6:10, wash my face/brush my teeth, do my hair while listening to my lastest music obsession, pull on whatever clothes i still like, line my eyes with shitty stick eyeliner and darken my thin eyelashes, make my lunch, and finally leave the house at 6:47 to wait at the corner alone for my bus to arrive. taking the bus is so cliche too. it makes me feel like a suburbanite from a cheesey blockbuster. i cannot wait until i can drive but sadly thats not going to be for another year due to my stupid summer birthday. my impatience does not help at all.

So how was my day? it was typical. i had to watch a movie about the Kennedy assassination today. like it was interesting and all but not my cup of tea. im not into history one bit. the only thing that really annoyed me today was how i got a headache during the middle of the day. i always get those. its a mystery why though. my mother says its because of my eyes but i have yet to establish a clear connection between eyes and headaches. besides that, it was alright. this weekend is going to be chaotic though. i have to write that power essay for english and basically im taking the voice of a cocky conceited asshole so that should be interesting. on the bright side, i get to stay up tonight watching movies and talking andd i get to sleep in tomorrow. woot!


a poem from about a week ago;

RAIN ON A TUESDAY
its raining outside
its pouring
every drop hits my window
with a graceful tap
almost in harmony
looking out the window,
everything is distorted
like a foggy unclear mirror
everything blends together
creating something obscene
never scene
the picture i used to see every morning
seems distant as if it never existed
rain might make the flowers grow
but it acts as a cleanser as well
whiping off everything that once mattered
but doesnt now
cleaning the slate
starting over
giving a little peace of mind

wednesdays are never fun

I was debating whether to start this up again and well i suppose my dark side convinced me that it wouldnt hurt. ill still use my twitter but ill use this for those extra long things and my poems and what not. oh speaking of poems, ive been writing alot of them lately. i dont know if thats good or bad, but i have been. maybe ive found a happy medium with my writing. wait that isnt possible because then id have to thank.... mr doherty. scary. i never thought id thank him for anything. i guess he just helped me find my voice. my sarcastic informal voice that never uses commas. lol. besides that life has been going swell for a wednesday. i usually feel really ugly on wednesdays for some reason but today not so much. theres many things im trying to accomplish now because i feel that my life is a waste. im trying this thing where im not going to be an asshole. the keyword is 'trying'. im not sure if itll happen but whatever. and for some reason i want to be nicer and more outgoing. some people say im already nice and outgoing but not to my standards and if anyones opinon mattered, its definitely mine so suck on that. so yeah im trying that out and what not. thank god theres a three day weekend. it should be interesting.